assassin4

To all my watchers who miss me, I am still active and taking photos (many good ones).  I have made Instagram my primary photo dump due to ease of use in my now, hectic life.  If you still wish to see my photographs (including some new and, very good, lightning photos), please follow me @stevena4 www.instagram.com/stevena4/?hl… .  To those who would prefer me to still post here; let me know, and I'll try, but as my life is no longer as peaceful and carefree as it once was, it will be few and far between posts.  I really do miss all of you, but I don't see my life slowing down anytime soon (such is the curse of becoming an adult).  Thank you to those who take the time to read this, and even more to those who find me on Instagram (I truly look forward to seeing you)

-Steven

For the past few years I went on a trek across the globe in order to "find myself".  In the Himalayas, I met an old, blind, African monk named Akatuku.  He was very wise and a little strange.  He taught me many life lessons and brewed me a tea out of a strange herb.  Said tea made me hallucinate for 3 days.  I awoke in a village of strange people who were all naked, except for hats.  They had some sort of religious fascination with headgear and refused to wear anything else (sadly, none of them were very attractive).  After speaking to the village elder, I learned I was married to 3 women and a goat!  For some reason, the women were very jealous of the goat (I'm not exactly sure why, and was too afraid to ask).  I stayed for 2 weeks as a courtesy, and then ran as fast as I could out of there.  I proceeded to make my way to glorious Russia!  There I met a rather interesting man named Vladimir (he wouldn't give me a last name.  something about nuclear weapons and KGB looking for him.  I didn't pry), who was fishing with an AK-47.  We quickly became friends and proceeded to drink vodka for 6 days straight.  I believe he robbed me though, as when I awoke on the morning of the seventh day, he was gone and so was my money and my pants.  It was at this point in my journey that I decided it was time to return home but there was one small problem, I needed pants (and money, but the pants were the more pressing issue because it was COLD).  I happened into a small town near the border, where I got many strange looks from the locals, due to my missing legwear.  Luckily, I happened to come across a beautiful 24 year old woman named Anastasiya.  Anastasiya was kind enough to give me a pair of her pants to wear (they were tight, but they were still pants, so I wasn't complaining), and introduced me to her uncle Maxim, who was a pilot.  After he beat the crap out of me (a misunderstanding.  My russian is very shaky), he agreed to fly me home, so long as I gave him the location of that nudist village!  We arrived back in the States, and I was greeted at the airport by none other than the goat! (I have no idea how it got there, and again, too afraid to ask).  So I grabbed the goat, hopped in a taxi, and went home.  When I arrived home, I was greeted at the door by my mother, who promptly slapped me in the face, as I had forgotten to tell her I was leaving (oops).  And now, here we are .  It feels very good to be home, honestly, but I still don't know what to do with this goat .

Recently decided to become slightly more social and make an instagram and tumblr account so yay!

Follow for photos you won't see here:
www.instagram.com/stevena4/

Follow for some fucked up shit from my psychotic mind:
stevena4.tumblr.com/


Check 'em out!  Shit's gonna be interesting (and a bit weird, trust me)

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are




Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is the best song in the world and I'll prove it:

I have always wondered why people hide eggs on Easter, a day to celebrate Jesus's resurrection.  I'm sure others have wondered about this too.  Well you don't need to wonder anymore!  I have figured it out using my flawless (yet completely insane) logic!  So here we go.  The reason we hide the eggs on Easter is because Jesus rises from the grave that day and goes to everyones house.  While there, he attempts to make an omelette.  But he really sucks at making them (I know, you'd think he can do anything because of who he is, but he just can't seem to get them damn omelettes right).  So anyway, every time he tries, he just winds up burning down the kitchen.  And THAT is why we hide the eggs.  Because if Jesus can't find the eggs, he can't burn the kitchen down!

I'm probably going to hell for this (and a myriad of other reasons)

Goodnight everybody!